I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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