you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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