Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
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If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
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I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
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