Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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