Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
