I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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