Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize