Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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