Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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