You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
