She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize