Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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