Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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