giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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