You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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