4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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