Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
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We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
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He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
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