I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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