That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch