Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(905): View more from Toronto

My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.

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(905): My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me. http://tfl.nu/adnf

Replies (16) Good night (948) Bad night (4571)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me

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(570): i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me http://tfl.nu/vizy

Replies (38) Good night (6083) Bad night (807)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know

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(501): She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know http://tfl.nu/vx6i

Replies (15) Good night (3422) Bad night (638)
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(234): View more from Ohio

No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.

(387): View more from

I don't know what to judge you more for.

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(234): No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods. (387): I don't know what to judge you more for. http://tfl.nu/wm5k

Replies (18) Good night (4036) Bad night (1202)
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(785): View more from Kansas

I found those 18 whoppers we bought.

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(785): I found those 18 whoppers we bought. http://tfl.nu/flbc

Replies (27) Good night (6843) Bad night (1650)
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(519): View more from Ontario

I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going

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(519): I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going http://tfl.nu/hix8

Replies (4) Good night (2851) Bad night (1159)
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(954): View more from Florida

I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.

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(954): I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter. http://tfl.nu/57tz

Replies (10) Good night (1356) Bad night (3625)
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(802): View more from Vermont

She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.

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(802): She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there. http://tfl.nu/44mo

Replies (12) Good night (7092) Bad night (1081)
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(513): View more from Ohio

hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team

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(513): hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team http://tfl.nu/e17f

Replies (8) Good night (3153) Bad night (623)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again

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(570): I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again http://tfl.nu/qatr

Replies (7) Good night (1979) Bad night (632)
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(785): View more from Kansas

WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS

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(785): WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS http://tfl.nu/bm5y

Replies (5) Good night (2264) Bad night (507)
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(805): View more from California

You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.

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(805): You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like. http://tfl.nu/70wr

Replies (14) Good night (723) Bad night (1201)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.

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(513): Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause. http://tfl.nu/cvb4

Replies (2) Good night (892) Bad night (600)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.

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(864): I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide. http://tfl.nu/p1xg

Replies (7) Good night (1000) Bad night (362)
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(650): View more from California

So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?

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(650): So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going? http://tfl.nu/ezzp

Replies (1) Good night (642) Bad night (263)

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