And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
