Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(347): View more from New York

I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot

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(248): View more from Michigan

I don't remember what your face looks like..

(727): View more from Florida

I don't remember your face either, just your dick.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.

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(585): View more from New York

there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(720): View more from Colorado

She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.

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(616): View more from Michigan

On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.

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(719): View more from Colorado

Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.

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(317): View more from Indiana

I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.

(1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

Questions like that are why I love you.

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