Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize