he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize