just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
His nipple licking is glorious
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