dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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