feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize