Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
