I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize