i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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