I bet he comes in French.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
