had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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