At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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