google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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