dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
