I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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