I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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