Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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