Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
