those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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