The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize