do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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