I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize