even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize