WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
