I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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