He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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