So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
