Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
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