You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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