not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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