He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize