He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
