when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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